Stafford County shares wild weekend of rescuing snakes, turtles, turkeys with witty writing

PHOTOS: Stafford County Sheriff's Office

Turkeys and turtles and snakes, oh my!

The Stafford County Sheriff's Office had a busy weekend rescuing some interesting creatures. Officials informed the community about the incidents with a creative twist.

Rat Snake

Deputy O.J. Martins responded to Edgewater Drive on Thursday for a rat snake that had gotten himself caught in some fencing.

"Who do you call when you find a snake trapped in deer netting? A civil serpent of course!" the sheriff's office wrote. "With all the pollen in the air, he could have used an antihisssstamine as well."

"Mr. Snakespeare," as the office called him, was not injured and was released back into the wild.

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PHOTO: Stafford County Sheriff's Office

Brown Snake

A snake believed to be an adult DeKay’s Brown Snake was rescued on Saturday from the basement of a home in Stratford Place by Deputy K.L. Busch.

"A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, ‘How’d you do that?’" the sheriff's office wrote. "And you thought we were out of snake jokes…we are just getting started with snake season! The Hogwarts Sorting Hat would put our Animal Control Officers in Slytherin. They are obviously fluent in Parseltongue, as they communicate so well with serpents. We are affectionately calling this little guy Severus Snake."

The sheriff's office says Severus Snake is now munching on grubs and spiders in a garden near you.

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PHOTO: Stafford County Sheriff's Office

Snapping Turtle

Deputy A.C. Wolford "stuck his neck out" to rescue a snapping turtle stuck in a fence on Saturday. 

"It wasn’t a turtle disaster, as Aristurtle did not require a trip to the animal shellter," the sheriff's office wrote. "We hoped he would stick around to shellibrate and pose for a shellfie, but he seemed more interested in the nearby pond."

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PHOTO: Stafford County Sheriff's Office

Turkeys

Deputy A.C. Wolford responded to Olde Forge subdivision for a livestock in the roadway complaint on Sunday.

"He arrived to find these two turkeys strutting through the area. We would hate for Butterball and the Gizzard of Oz to go to 'waist.'" the sheriff's office wrote.

Officials say the owner can contact Animal Control to claim the turkeys or they will hold them until the middle of November.

"Don’t we have the "baste" Animal Control Officers?" they wrote.

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PHOTO: Stafford County Sheriff's Office

African Spurred Tortoise

"Apparently the word is out in the reptile community you can be featured on our social media," the sheriff's office wrote.

Deputy A.C. Wolford responded to White Pine Circle on Sunday for an African Spurred Tortoise. 

"We are a little shell shocked Thortoise was in our county," the sheriff's office wrote. "As the name suggests he is not native to Stafford and would have needed a shellicopter to get here."

Officials say these tortoises can live up to 150 years and weigh 200 pounds. "Thortoise" is resting at the animal "shellter" until officials find him a home.

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PHOTO: Stafford County Sheriff's Office